Mother in-laws can be over bearing and they can throw you off balance sometimes.
Some wives/ husbands are gifted with angels as mother in-law, while some are blessed with witches/ wizards "Forgive my choice of words."
In this part of the world, more often than not, women or wives are at the receiving end, so the tension most times are on them.
Most times these mothers meant no harm. They just believe nobody can take care of their son better than them.
Often times too, they feel you are a threat to their relationship with their sons, and this happens regardless of how long you have been married to their son.
This takes me back to the day I met his mother. I was tensed and looked for ways to push the thought of the dreadful meeting aside. " you know that feeling of going to face the interview panel for a job"
I remember changing outfits like three times, I eventually changed the native attire I chose, because I didn't want her to picture me that way.
Even though I had to look decent "I had to be myself, I had to look normal" I told myself, and it worked for me perfectly.
My friend's story was different, she had to answer annoying questions in a pleasant way. Ofcourse! She couldn't afford to be disrespectful.
A nasty experience she called it, while narrating the story to me. Her mother in-law actually asked her, why her hands were so tiny?
"Are you sure, you can take care of my son and handle the home?
"Your eyes are too sharp, you look like a troublesome person"
"Have you ever been pregnant and"... her son interrupted her, he couldn't even wait for her to finish the sentence. "I love her mum and she's going to be my wife" he said to his mum.
Years later, she wished her perfect response to her mother in-law would have been the interesting short piece of writing, we came across with sometimes back...it goes thus;
Dear mother in-law, I don't need you to teach. me how to handle my home or children.
Am living with one of yours now and he
needs lots of improvement. Yeah right!...
A close look at my friend's experience, makes you see reasons why some ladies pray not to have mother in-laws at all.
Though, this act is selfish and evil, as we all will become mother in-laws some day. So adhere to other means to tackle the issue
- Learn to tolerate.
- Avoid harmful / outdated advice from mother in-laws: the issue of circumcision is outdated in this day and time.
- Be relevant in your home and be accommodating
- Find a way to get on her good side, she is an important member of your family
- Reach out to her, ask for advice and never forget to take a stand when need be.
- Never expect the worst from people because your worst enemy can be your best friend sometimes.
It wasn't a bad meeting for me after all. "If she is your choice, that's all that matters," his mother said to him.
