A State of Darkness; Understanding Life

I long for what I don't know, even seek for what I can't find, where can I get that unknown force that just makes life look like a fairy tale

I stared at the mirror, looking at my reflection for answers and I looked again if there was something I was missing.

This time I saw an image, hungry for answers, I saw through me generations to come and wished I could tell their fate.

I stood dazed, dazed at what life has become. A brief thought of going back to the days of innocence occupied my mind.

I stood like a Soldier on parade waiting to salute a superior, I clinched my teeth at every slightest pain i felt, I shunned the pain of my weak legs, as I gazed at the imaginary rays of sunlight.

For a moment I was in trance, could my reflection have been a false image? Could working everyday to pay bills be the life God called me for? Is this life? I baffled at my curiosity.

How can you fathom the stray bullet that killed my colleague on his way to work? How can you fathom all the bomb blast killing the innocent ones? Is there a day of judgement and the life hereafter as we're being told.

The dynamism of this world is a puzzle too big to unravel, how can we explain the competitive nature of man, the jealousy between neighbours.

The knock on the door put an end to my thought, atleast for a while. It disappeared like the pains of our mothers after child birth. 

I quickly brushed my collars and tucked in my shirt, for it was another daily routine of life's adventure.
Who knows, this day might be my last. I rushed on my knees to say a quick prayer. This was always the solution to all problems according to God's book.
I heard the knock again and I realized I was almost falling asleep on my knees. "Off I go" I said as I moved in pretentious ecstasy. 

A long journey to work it was,with the sound of movement and a slight rustle of air. A flash of my life's events rained on me like a sequence, and I smiled sheepishly

This brings me back to the fact that life will always remain a mystery. The fear of the unknown, the hardest decision we might have to make, the challenges we can't escape will always be a part of our journey through it

...and maybe just one day, we have to make a drastic decision like the courageous Caitlyn Jenner, but until then I wish to sail smoothly.